Notes from the Land of the Lotus Eaters

I've not wrote much lately. Time has a way of playing tricks on you. One day you might be dreaming, and the next that dream becomes your reality. I feel like I've been sleeping for some time and I don't like the reality I've awakened to. I'm back in the stony-hearted city that bore and raised me, but there's more to life than where you are. I regret all the wasted time. More importantly, I miss things that sometimes seem lost.

I just returned from a week-long trip to North Carolina. I got to see the people that matter most to me, a few that don't matter quite so much, and some that didn't matter at all. There were people that I would have loved to see but didn't get a chance to. It was a fun trip, but it brought some painful realizations. I miss that strong familial friendship I had with my closest friends. I made mistakes and prices were paid for those mistakes. Will enough ever be paid to restore what's been damaged and build ever-greater things on those foundations? Will my distance be a hindrance or will it be overcome as the minor obstacle that it is?

My birthday was a defining moment. I decided to use it the way most people view the New Year. It makes more sense - instead of just celebrating a new calendar with everyone else, you're marking a new go around the sun for yourself. Sometimes I'm disgusted with my life and myself, but I'm not completely unhappy about that. I'm re-doubling my focus on writing to make up for the lost time. I'm going to try to post on here as often as I used to. I'm also going to work on a lot of other aspects of myself. Some of those will be returning to the person I was, while others will be continuing to improve myself.

I had more that I wanted to write tonight, but there are a lot of thoughts in my head that I just can't vocalize just yet. I wonder how Marie is doing. I hope she and her family are doing better. Josie, David, if either of you ever read this know that I hold the two of you up to the highest degree. I love and miss you guys a lot, and I hope we'll gain back that level of friendship between us and build those ever-greater things together. Come what may, I'll always be there for you.